You will have to forgive me up front. Usually I'm not very outspoken and most of the time I let things roll off and don't get worked up about things, but today (probably because I have a cold and am not feeling all that great) things have really gotten to me and I'm going on a soapbox for a moment. The question that I have to keep asking myself recently is, "Do I really look that young?"
Granted at 4'10" tall, I'm always going to fight a little bit of the stigma that I must be young, but I have had so much trouble gaining any credit in the quilting world. Next month I turn 30, but for all the good it does me I might as well be 18. I've been quilting nearly ten years and I think I know at least a little bit about what I am doing. Although, I'm the first one to admit there is still tons about quilting that I will be learning for many years to come, but for some reason the second I walk into a quilt store everyone immediately assumes I must not know anything.
Today I walked into my local quilt shop to see if the fabric yardage requirements had come in for the Mystery Quilt class I was planning to take which starts on Wednesday. They usually have the class supply list available for weeks ahead of time and require that you do most of the rotary cutting before the class starts. Gosh knows that I spend enough time and money in the shop that all the ladies that work in the store know me, but today the owner of the store was there. So, when I asked if the fabric requirements was in, she looked at me and said "don't worry sweetie, the teacher can help you when the class starts." I don't need help buying fabric, I just need to know how much I need to buy. She looked at me like I had no idea what I was doing. In any event, I don't think I will be doing the mystery class since I won't have time to buy fabric and get it cut between Monday when the pattern comes in and Wednesday when the class starts.
I've had the same experience of being treated like I don't know anything at our local quilt guild. It's been several months, but the one time I did go I was talking to the lady in charge of the quilts they sew for the local hospitals. I was wanting to get involved in helping out and the lady told me she could put some of the really easy beginner kits together for me.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so sensitive, and usually I'm not, I just sometimes feel like I loose out on some of the wonderful fellowship and learning experiences with other quilters because I'm younger than the average quilter around here. So, thank you for listening to me vent and all for all of the encouragement you give! I'm off to go quilt!
It's not very pleasant being treated so disrespectfully - quilt store owner or guild member. I have had similar experiences. Perhaps you need to find a quilt store that is kinder to it's customers and guild that is friendlier to it's members. I have to say that I don't consider age to be a factor in quilting. There are plenty of talented quilters about who are younger than me and older than me. Some have been quilting longer than me, some less so. You'll always be among like minded friends with your APQ blogging chums. Ann :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm only a few years older than you are (no, wait I'm 27, ha ha ha!) but look younger than I am and have had similar experiences. I think the stereotype of an old grandma quilting has so permeated our culture that anyone who didn't start quilting before they were a grandma assumes noone else has the time. My best "revenge" was the first quilt retreat I ever attended. I was the youngest (24 or 25 at the time and had been quilting on my own for at least 3 or 4 years, plus "training" with my mom for probably 6 or 8 more) and ended up sharing a table with the oldest quilter in the mystery quilt class. Guess who had tops done at the end of the weekend? Yep, me and my table partner. Noone else - there was a LOT of ripping... I think that showed a few people not to judge a book by its cover! So hang in there. By the time you're a grandma, think of the skills you'll have and can truly look down your nose at newbie grandma quilters! (Hmmm...maybe I should go photograph that quilt top for a post...)
ReplyDeleteHow frustrating! Why don't you try the guild again with some of your lovely quilts in tow for show and tell? They really shouldn't have made assumptions, but maybe there can be a fresh start. I'd like to have the fellowship of a live quilt guild (though blogging buddies certainly helps fill the gap). As for the quilt store...is there anywhere else you can shop?
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as looking younger in general, you may like it later :) I've got almost ten years on you, and when a checkout clerk called me "Miss" the other day I smiled all the way home. Very silly, I know.
-Joanne
I also have more than 10 years on you. I still get the "Can I help". While working on the "3D Mariners Compass" at retreat, a 1st time retreat came and asked if I needed some help. She was a LQS owner. My, by the end of retreat she was coming to ask me questions. Sweet revenge!
ReplyDeleteWhat you don't like now will one day be such a pleasure! It is frustrating not being taken seriously or given credit for what your skills are just because you look much younger than you are. Next time just very calmly tell them that you are an experienced quilter and just need to know the quantity of fabric to purchase. Then enjoy the fact that you are blessed with looking youthful. I have been blessed with looking young, too. I use to hate it but now that I will be turning 60 this year and look no where near that, I really enjoy it. I use to answer my phone and people would ask, "is your mother there?" My response was always "I am the mother". Once when I was pregnant with my first child two women from a religious organization rang the doorbell. When I answered, obviously very pregnant, they asked if the woman of the house was there, they were speechless when I told them I was the adult there. It can be frustrating, but know that one day it will be really fun!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy all the years you have ahead to quilt! ! !
Don't worry about looking young; it will definitely work to your advantage the rest of your life! So far as the quilt store owner, she probably didn't even know how much fabric you need. You know how most bosses are; they depend on the help to keep things going. If you go back there, make a "first-name friend" with one of the workers, and always ask for that person when you go in.
ReplyDeleteAbout the guild, Joanne has a great idea. Take a couple of your prettiest quilts for show and tell, and smile a lot! If the guild scene doesn't work out for you, believe me, you will get more quilting done without them anyway! Just keep in touch with one or two members, and invite them to your home to see your quilts. Word will get around! *wink* ---"Love"